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    1. Cincinnati Layover
    2. Somebody
    3. No Difference (available for digital download on Bandcamp)
    4. This Town

    "4 songs that tell of a life misspent; not on drugs, booze, loose woman and wasted money, but on things that hardworking, not necessarily good looking, salt-of-the earth type people deal with every day; mislaid plans, fear of the unknown, lost love and fading dreams."

    This is a completely independent record, made and paid for and totally believed in by the artist. Buy with confidence!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Copyright 1973 via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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VINYL-ONLY, VINYL-ONLY, VINYL-ONLY (except for track 3, available on Bandcamp)

Did we mention this is vinyl-only?

If you still want to hear it, please contact us for a free needle-drop CDr copy, but please respect our decision not to release this digitally to get lost in the ever expanding ocean of digital music.

Please contact us if you want a vinyl copy for review purposes.


released August 21, 2014

All songs by the Fake Country All-Stars
Produced by Scott Hunt
Violins by Cecelia Johnson
Bus station voice by Aaron Cain



all rights reserved


The So-Called Fake Country All-Stars Ohio

Born of an obsession with Robert Altman’s classic film Nashville, Mary Kay Place’s Loretta Haggers character on the television program Mary Hartman and Ween’s “country” album, 12 Golden Country Greats, the So-Called Fake Country All-Stars are the leading lights of the burgeoning sub-genre of country music, Fake Country. ... more

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Track Name: Cincinnati Layover
I never thought I'd spend a night at the Knoxville bus station
But the buses weren’t going anywhere since the big storm came through
The payphone didn't work and I could not afford it anyway
Anyway, I'd spent my last dime gettin’ back to you
I was listening to my Walkman on the bus that they left running
I looked up and down the aisle but saw no bowties around
There were no secret agents, just some poor pathetic people
Caught sight of myself in the window you can guess what I found
I was sleeping on the floor
I was eating off of these cafeteria vouchers for you
But what was I doing it all for
Hell, you barely even answered my letters anymore

Instrumental break (verse)

And I still have Cincinnati to sit through

It was two in the morning when the bus pulled in the station
You were supposed to pick me up but you were nowhere to be found
You were out gallivanting with some local Cassanova
I had come 1000 miles, he came from just across town 
I can't stand the smell of diesel anymore
I can't stand the sight of exit signs and fast food restaurants
I'm not traveling anymore
I’m gonna find me a South Carolina girl and never let her go
Now I'm sitting here alone at the Atlanta bus station
My heart just wrecked by a brown haired girl half a world away
but I guess i always knew that you would not be true
but romantic minds have to find out the hard way
and we still have Cincinnati
I still have Cincinnati that I can masturbate to
Track Name: Somebody
I don't want to see you moping around
I don't really care about what she did last summer
I just want to see you back in the saddle again

I don't want to hear none of that suicide talk
A gun in the mouth, never ends well
I just want to see you out on the highway again

Don't you know that there is somebody for everybody
Even Jamie gets lucky sometimes
So keep your eyes on the road and off of that rear-view mirror

I don't want to hear about you lurking around
People gonna think you're out there stealing copper
I just want to see you up on your high horse again

Cuz she ain't never coming back and she ain't writing any songs
And the sooner you accept that the sooner we can all just move along
So put down your guitar and pick up your lazy bones

Don't you know that there is somebody for everybody
Ain't nobody ever told you about the fish in the sea?
Put your line in the water and forget about the ones that got away

We never saw what you saw in her anyway
We never understood
We only want to have our old buddy back again
To drive around the neighborhood
Track Name: This Town
This town, has a chip on its shoulder
The size of Michigan
And the people don’t change around here, we just get older
Thinking nineteen-something and five is coming back again

You gotta get out while you can
You gotta get out while you can

This town is a long way from heaven
But it’s just a short drive from everywhere you’ve been
You’re too far north to have the proper charm or breeding
And you’re too far south to be thick skinned

This town is always waiting for something
But nothing’s all that ever comes

Don’t worry I still love you…

The girl that you love and you know loves you too
Cannot find you
From the time or the place that she’s in
So you just sit around here, waiting for the dog to die
So you can finally pack it all in

The sun won’t shine where you keep your old postcards
And some men will die alone

Don’t worry I still love you…

From the east side refineries to the old Polish village
Tucked away in the attic with the old Bernz-o-matic
With your old service medals, and the dust always settles
There’s a letter you never mailed right next to a trophy shaped like a bowling pin